


You.

by NotMarie



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Confession, High School AU?, M/M, Writer!Jihoon, slight homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-12 03:55:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9054355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotMarie/pseuds/NotMarie
Summary: You. It has always been you. Jihoon always wrote poems and stories for the monthly school paper, and Soonyoung is a fan of his works.





	

_Look at me._

_By: Lee Jihoon_

 

_You always stared at the floor. Your hair covered your eyes, but it can't hide your beauty.  Today, you walked pass me by the cafeteria. You seem out of your mind. You were always anxious of the people around you. Our gaze met, you looked shock. You then went back to staring at the floor. Maybe that's why you never noticed my feelings, because you never thought I'd be here in the first place._

 

_I know you're afraid, but please start talking to the people around you._

 

_Not everyone will hurt you, my star._

 

_I won't hurt you._

 

 

_Please stop looking down on yourself, stop staring at the floor._

 

_Stop staring at the floor,_

 

_Please, look at me._

 

 

Soonyoung stares at the monthly school paper. His eyes wide with amazement. He then shifts his gaze to the haiku poems.

 

_I want to paint you._

_All your colors, all your hues._

_Please, let me paint you._

 

It was written by the same person. _Lee Jihoon._ The man was quite famous for being a lyrical genius at such young age. They are not classmates, but he was in the same year as the guy. Eversince freshmen year, Soonyoung had admired the way the other man wrote. He isn't much of a reader, but he waited every month just to read the poems and short stories written by the same man.

 

As he starts admiring the man's work in his mind, his friend pries the school paper from his grasp, rolls it, and uses it to hit the top of Soonyoung's head. Soonyoung rubs the top of his head before he fixes the position of his reading glasses.

 

 _"You're reading the same shit again!"_ His friend states. Soonyoung frowns and gets the paper from his friend's hands.

 

 _"This is not shit, Jun. Watch your language, this is art!"_ Soonyoung argues. His friend crosses his arms and argued back. _"Those poems and stories are mediocre, Soonyoung. Even I can write something like that."_

 

Soonyoung just raises a brow and starts ignoring his friend's remarks.

 

Soonyoung is a hopeless romantic. He loved how everything Jihoon wrote was written with a purpose. He loved how the emotions in every word were trying to reach out to that certain person, he loved how he played with words. He then thinks, _the person he loves sure is lucky. How I'd wish it would be me. But that's impossible, he's probably straight. And no one would turn to look at a dweeb like me._ He then heaves a sigh. He went back to reading other stories in the literature section of the paper.

 

 _"I can't wait for next month."_ Soonyoung says to his self.

 

 

_He_

_By: Lee Jihoon_

_Must gender dictate whom I should love?_

_Must his race,_

_his skin color,_

_his eye shape,_

_must it all matter?_

 

_Should gender roles tell me what I should do?_

_Should this stop me_

_from doing the things_

_women usually do?_

_Should it stop me from showing that I care for you?_

_Should it stop me from loving you?_

 

_Will following this social standards_

_help me know who I really am?_

_Will following it_

_help me find_

_the happiness_

_that_ _I found when I met you?_

 

_If God really is a reasonable God,_

_would he forbid me_

_to love you_

_just because you're also a he?_

_or because other people can't see what I see in you?_

_or because all they see is your flaw that made you less beautiful in their eyes?_

 

_I think not._

 

 

Many people were shocked by what Jihoon wrote. It's like he announced to everyone that he is gay, and many are not taking it in well (some hypocritical religious are claiming his work to be blasphemous, too). Soonyoung was shocked, but the words Jihoon used struck his heart. He can relate with the man, but he must be having a hard time now. South Korea isn't exactly open to idea of the gay and bisexual gender, he knows it too well. Soonyoung was bullied before he studied in this school, that's why he isn't exactly friendly. He doesn't deny it when people ask him though. This poem made him happy. It's like they can be whoever they want to be, and that he can love whoever he wants.

 

 

The bullies are at it again. They _accidentally_ bumped unto Jihoon, causing Jihoon to fall face first. His papers and score sheets scattered on the floor. They then walked on the papers as if it was nothing and started murmuring about how gay people are disgraceful creatures. Jihoon clenched his teeth, his hands forming a fist. Good thing Soonyoung passed by. He helped Jihoon with his papers and helped him stand up. Soonyoung gave him the papers. Before he starts walking, he recognizes Jihoon. He panicked internally, but he tried to play it cool. He looks at Jihoon, smiles, and speaks up.

 

" _Thank you, Lee Jihoon."_

And Soonyoung rushes to his classroom.

 

Jihoon knew it should be him who should say thank you, so he was slightly taken aback when it was Soonyoung that thanked him. He shrugged, and headed his way. 

 

Soonyoung walks down the school hallways. He finished the exam early, which meant he can go home early. As he was passing by the fountain,  he saw a familiar figure. He contemplated whether he should approach him or not before he decided to give it a shot.

 

Jihoon looked at the sky. The mixture of grays and blues with a touch of white comforted him somehow.  He was lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice Soonyoung had sat beside him. He only knew when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He looked at the man who sat beside him. Soonyoung extended his hand and offered an earpiece.  Jihoon took it, but he looked confused. Jihoon put it in his ear and the man beside him pushed the play button.

 

 

Chopin's Nocturne Op 9 No 2 started playing. Jihoon saw the man beside him listened with his eyes closed. He looked so peaceful.  He decides to do the same. He listened to the music, and he felt better. Before the song ended, Soonyoung speaks.

 

_"I may not be much of a talker, but I know how to listen. Want to share something?"_

Jihoon opens his eyes and sees Soonyoung smiling at him. Jihoon stared at the man before he looked away. A new song plays, and he starts to talk.

" _How would you feel if a guy starts liking you?"_

 

Soonyoung was taken aback by the question. He crosses his arms and starts thinking. 

 

" _I'll be thankful, I guess? I mean, I'm one of the gayest person alive, dude. Besides, it's hard to find someone who'll like me, so.. . "_

 Soonyoung lets out a sad smile.

They sat and let the music from the earphones drown them. Soonyoung speaks again.

 

 _"Thank you for writing that poem, Jihoon. I'm now a big fan."_ He says the last part jokingly. (He has always been a fan of his works.)

 

Jihoon smiles.

 

 

Despite the controversial poem, people still loved what Jihoon wrote, so he couldn't be removed from the school paper's staff.

 

Soonyoung waited for the next issue, and reads as always.

 

_Gratitude_

_By: Lee Jihoon_

 

_Thank you_

_because you shine_

_because you gave light in my darkest hours_

_because you are there._

 

_Thank you_

_for you listened,_

_you noticed me, too._

 

_Thank you_

_because someone like you_

_understood how I felt_

_and helped me._

 

_you may not notice how I feel towards you,_

_but with all my heart,_

_I thank you._

 

 

Bumping unto Jihoon became a natural occurrence. The smiles they exchanged turned to words of encouragement and amazement. Soonyoung couldn't help but to talk to Jihoon about what he writes.

 

One day, Soonyoung speaks. 

_"Jihoon? I can't help but notice that you always talks to someone in your poems and stories. Since we're kind of friends now, care to tell me who that is?"_

 

Soonyoung wasn't ready to hear it, honestly speaking. He had grown to like the man even more, and there's no use in denying it. However, he knew Jihoon liked someone else, so he might as well stop fantasizing about him, and this is his genius plan.

 

Soonyoung looked at Jihoon with all curiosity. Jihoon let out a small smile and answered, _"Wait for my next poem."_

 

The bell rang, and they needed to go back to their rooms. Jihoon stood up and waved at Soonyoung. Soonyoung was dying from curiosity, but he still wasn't ready.

 

When the next issue was released, Soonyoung didn't have the guts to read it. He wasn't prepared to know who the person is. He'd avoid Jihoon, and would only smile or make up excuses whenever they'd bump unto each other.

 People threw more judging looks at him, too. Soonyoung thought that maybe it was because he is gay. His friend also gives him a smug grin everytime they'd meet. He was confused,  but he decided to let it be.

It was lunch time. Just as he thought he wanted to move on with his foolish feelings, Soonyoung saw the school paper, folded between his books. He takes a deep breath and reads the paper. His eyes widened in shock, unexplainable expression shown on his face. He puts down the paper with shaky hands, and ran to where he first talked to Jihoon.

 

He saw the familiar fountain, the bench, and the boy that looked at the sky. It was a very nostalgic scene. Soonyoung then taps Jihoon's shoulder. Jihoon looks at him wide eyed.

 

_"Hi Lee Jihoon. I'm your number one fan. I'm sorry, I just read your poem. Oh, and I like you too."_

 

_He backhugs Jihoon and Jihoon felt his cheeks get hotter. Jihoon smiles at Soonyoung._

 

_(Jihoon was actually sad that Soonyoung has been avoiding him. He thought that it was because he read and knew what Jihoon felt for him. It turns out he was wrong.)_

 

 

_You._

_by: Lee Jihoon_

 

_Your eyes smiled,_

_You asked me,_

_"For whom do you write?"_

_I was shy,_

_So I just smiled._

 

_A thousand thoughts_

_Ran wild in my head_

_what if you read this,_

_and start ignoring me instead?_

 

_But if I don't try,_

_I'll never know_

_how you felt_

_towards this fool._

 

_To answer your question,_

_It was for you._

_All these words,_

_they were written_

_in hopes of reaching out to you._

_You finally saw me,_

_this is a chance I can't lose._

_So here, I'd confess_

_my feelings for you._

 

_All sentences_

_bound with cheesy lines,_

_All poems,_

_written with you in my mind,_

_You._

 

_Memories_

_when I fell in love first sight_

_as you read a SHINee Magazine_

_in our school lib_

 

_Or another scene_

_when you lent your ear_

_to listen to my heavy heart._

_I was star struck,_

_because it really is you._

 

_So if you'll ask me,_

_for whom do I write?_

_I'll answer,_

_You are my muse._

 

_You, Kwon Soonyoung._

_It has always been you._

 

 

Soonyoung read the poem again. It reminded him of many memories they shared. He then laid beside Jihoon and held his hand. He then rests Jihoon's head on his shoulder. He presses a soft kiss on Jihoon's forehead. Jihoon smiles.

They knew life will be full of uncertainties, but it's alright. They'll just cherish what they have right now. They have each other, and that's what matters.

 

_"I'm lucky to have you, Lee Jihoon."_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the crappy poems, I had no idea what to write lol. It's an experiment of some sort. Hope you liked it!  
> Ps. Still unedited lol when will I start editing my works hahaha


End file.
